I talked to Amy. For like an hour. Today was a good day. :)

Earn all other trophies in the game.

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I hate my stupid stepdad.

Get your first kill.

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Oh @&!%, did I brush my teeth today?!?

Get 50 kills.

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I'm getting hungry.

Get a kill with The Hand.

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Or maybe I'm just bored. I think that's it — I'm bored.

Play and finish 10 matches.

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But I mean, why wouldn't I be? This class sucks so bad.

Get 1st place in a match.

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Maybe I'll say I need to go to the bathroom.

Deposit 10 hearts in a Organ Donor match.

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Then I'll just hide in a stall and watch videos till class ends.

Complete Training.

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Amy keeps looking at me and smiling. That's weird. I mean it's cool. But it's weird.

Discover The Lost in Shooting Gallery!

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I wonder if she likes me. How amazing would THAT be?

Destroy three moon rocks in Shooting Gallery!

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Maybe she just feels sorry for me. Or maybe she's smiling at someone behind me?

Use all Alientown warps — including secret warps — in one match!

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Nope — there's just a poster of Abraham Lincoln behind me. She could be smiling at the poster, I guess? That'd be so weird.

Discover granny's terrible secret!

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Actually, that would make me like her more. And to be clear, what I mean is, if she IS a little weird, I'd like that.

The Emperor (or at least his face) will SMASH you!

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I wasn't saying I'd like her more if she wanted to get with Abe Lincoln. That'd be super gross cuz he’s dead. And very tall.

Anger an alien, kill an enemy!

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Hooper's talking about college. Again. "So what are your plans for college, kids?" It's like everyday with this guy.

Get 100 kills.

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Why's he think we all want to go to college? Decades of student loan debt plus four more years in a classroom? No thanks.

Get 50 kills with 3 different characters.

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I MIGHT. I mean, I may want to go. But maybe not. Who says that's the ONLY way to get where you're going?!

Get 50 kills with The Hand.

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Not that I have ANY idea where I'm going. Alan says I need to come work at Magic Mouse this summer. Uhm, HELL no.

Do 3000 points of damage with special attacks.

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Maybe I'll go work at Viking Burger just to annoy him. But I really don't want to wear one of those Viking Horn Hats.

Play and finish 20 matches.

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I wonder if I could get a job making art. Like after high school. I'd so love to make art for video games!

Get 1st place in 7 matches.

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That's totally stupid and not happening. No one wants a game that looks like my art.

Get one character to Level 15 and complete all of that character's missions.

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Damn, I need to get some more songs on my phone. So tired of 'FEVER DREAMING'. I like it, but man I'm sick of it.

Get 600 kills.

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Not that I have any money to get new music, though. Hell, maybe I COULD wear that stupid Viking hat.

Play and finish 50 matches.

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Okay, so I just slammed into Amy in the hall and it's official: I need to man the hell up!

Get 1st place in 25 matches.

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I was stammering and sweating and stuttering and just standing there. I have GOT to stop being such a dork around her.

Reach floor 15 of a ranked tower.

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When we collided she did get some of her homework mixed in with mine. So, I DO have a valid reason to text her now.

Win a match of Organ Donor with a single deposit.

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Wait, text?!? Ok so I'm 100% sure I've lost my damn testicles. I need to just TALK to her! I need to be @&!%ing brave.

Get two characters to Level 15 and complete all of those characters' missions.

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Like those guys from the band on Mark's punk rock bootlegs. They have NO fear! I need to be like them!

Solve all of the Sphinx's riddles.

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